Wow Sir very nicely done! You hit some key points. Keep them coming!
The fragrance of a rose lingers upon those who cast it.
I am speaking several languages and I have low-self esteem, so stop the blah blah blah.
Thank you sir. I'm going to be 32 this month (I'm a dude) and I'm at a pretty low point in my life and have been struggling and internalizing a lot of personal crap/trauma in a sense/perhaps, and for a while. Overall I think this is all good advice. Foreign languages were never a huge interest or a strength for me. Being popular, fitting in and being a people pleaser however in my opinion is the last thing that a personality type like mine is after, or feels will improve my self esteem. Overall, good advice tho, thank you.
Thank you so much for this video! :)
I have low self esteem because my first wife left me cheating on me 3 different times before I filed for divorce. My second wife was verbally abusive and always putting me down even though I did everything for her until the day she died of cancer! Now my third wife is very independent and makes me feel like I am never enough for her to make her happy. Finally now at 57 I am working out everyday and going to go back to school. My wife is very supportive of me going back to school and working out. Even though I retired at 53 and have 2 pensions and own 2 homes not that material things make you happy I am happy in that respect! Thank you for this video!
awesome so true thanks of sharing this God Bless!
Merci beaucoup ça me donne une ideé.
Overall good points, but I don't fully agree with 10, 12 and 15.
10. Although it's true that commonly (depending on the culture) people with treat others negatively that carry themselves in certain ways. But I don't think that should be held as an indication of wrongness and a deserved negative reaction. It's not necessarily a barometer by which everyone should make personal adjustments to themselves. That's the element of moralizing. In society there many biases, traditional beliefs, prejudices, social mores, conformity etc. Popular social cultural beliefs should be questioned using ones own mindfulness and self understanding. Only what is relevantly beneficial can be applied to self improvement if desired, but without self judgment. Quietness, meekness, sensitivity aren't bad qualities but may be less or more effective depending on the context. Tolerance begets a more interesting world by fostering diversity, individuality, which benefit the common good.Humility prevents preemptive judgments through the broad window of misunderstanding we see others we momentarily cross paths and help us to see through the narrow window of understanding.
12. While it might be necessary to change styles depending on the context. But in general it involves taste, which is subjective. This is similar to 10 in that it encourages using society's standards as a means by which to decide what should or shouldn't be done. What's more important is being true to yourself and expressing yourself freely. It's not a good idea to moralize taste. If people want to conform to the what is more widely acceptable they should do so for themselves. They should feel the need to socially placate others.
15. The popular saying "get out of your comfort zone" while having a sense of logic and practicality is not always necessary. We must acknowledge the value of what makes us happy and comfortable. These are not inherently bad things. One is needed for improvement differs from person to person. That is, if improvement is even needed. There is no wrong in contentment even if it doesn't seem acceptable (in a given context) to others. But what defines a "Comfort Zone"? When we think of what makes people comfortable why is there a stereotype of the person who lives in simplicity and solitude or keeps within a small circle? This is perceived as "lazy" therefore success (whose popular definition is alluded) is not possible. If someone watches alot of TV how do you know it's not after a lot of work, helping others, working on personal goals or skills? It's not bad in and of itself. I don't want use labels but not everybody is what is described as "extroverted" some are what is described as "introverted" and gain much form simple things such as just reading a book or watching TV. Doing a lot of something doesn't mean one doesn't care about or peruse other things. "Comfort Zone" to one means something different to another. Studying various subjects might be one person's comfort zone, Jumping out of airplanes might be a person's comfort zone. Should the person who likes studying stop studying and go learn to ride horses? Should the person who likes jumping out of airplanes go learn to cook gourmet food? It's good to try different things. We should do things that suit us and that we have a real desire to do to that according to our needs and individuality weather it's in or out of our "comfort zone".It's not about forging our individuality for the sake of stepping outside of ourselves for the sake of stepping outside of ourselves. Even within one's comfort zone there are possibilities. Possibilities in life don't exist in only one area or in a vacuum. There exist everywhere. It's finding them and utilizing them accordingly that matters. The thinking that If it's comfortable then it's bad is as illogical as saying if it's uncomfortable it's good. These are generalizations. There's a quote by Bruce Lee in which he said "Do not deny the classical approach, simply as a reaction, or you will have created another pattern and trapped yourself there.” He was speaking about martial arts but also philosophically. Whatever way might be good, if you focus only on one way we trap ourselves in one way of thinking. Only focusing on stepping out of our comfort zones is doing just that. Variety is the spice of life so we need that even in seemingly "absolute" beliefs about life such as this. We need both comfort and to be uncomfortable. If we were only uncomfortable we would never congratulate ourselves, treat ourselves, enjoy relaxation, have hobbies, have self compassion, be happy for others, have integrity or consistency… If we were only comfortable we would never try new things, be able to learn, realize when we're wrong, have discipline, reach goals, help others, improve our health etc. At the end of the day what makes you happy and healthy? That's what's most important. If you are at all unhappy that is the indicator that something should change. Everything else will follow. If you're not go after your goals you'll be unhappy, if you're not taking care of yourself, if you're not doing anything for fun and so on.
"First, there’s generic advice. The kind that fills books and graduation ceremonies. It represents the advice-giver’s accumulated wisdom, but it’s not directed to an individual.
Confucius shared general principles of good living, not just advice for one person. Steve Jobs spoke to the entire Stanford convocation, not just one graduate.
The advantage of generic advice is scale. Instead of reasoning about all cases and circumstances, the advice-giver tries to provide a best-fit approximation of the advice for most cases. The advice is better the closer you are to the author’s ideal case.
Because of this scale, through books we can access the recorded generic advice of the best thinkers who have ever lived. It doesn’t matter that Seneca died thousands of years ago, I can still draw lessons from his teachings to apply to my own life.
The disadvantage of this advice is that the more nuanced the situation, or the further removed you are from the ideal case, the worse the advice is. Seneca couldn’t have anticipated how life has changed in modern times, nor could he anticipate all possible permutations of life situations."
I thought that was interesting and I agree. That's what the advisers seem to forget. I'm just giving my opinion. I'm not an expert. I would like opinions from Psych majors if possible." – Scott H Young (scotthyoung.com)
Thank you for your positive feedback.